Laura Benanti & The Sound of Music

I recently met a rabid fan of Broadway musicals (his name is Francois). I’ve never seen anything like it. His walls are papered with playbills starting from the 70s and he’s seen every Broadway show you can think of. When I told him I sometimes work with Laura Benanti he looked like he was going to faint. He then went on to name everything she’s ever been in, raved about her Tony winning performance in Gypsy and even knew exactly what she's doing now. Unlike Francois, I am not a fan of musicals. It makes me uncomfortable when someone is about to say something but instead suddenly starts to sing. And everything is so dramatic – I don’t know, maybe that kind of public display of emotion is a little too free for the Japanese in me (not to generalize about Japanese people, but it’s a culture more known for personal restraint, not wild free emotion). However, for me there is one exception – The Sound of Music. This may be because I saw it when I was so young, learned and know all the songs and still vividly remember the Von Trapp family singing and escaping into those beautiful mountains. I don’t know. If you ask me to watch a musical I will say no. But if you look in one of my cabinets right now you’ll find a boxed set of The Sound of Music.

A number of years ago Laura played the role of Maria in The Sound of Music on Broadway. When I found that out I peppered her with questions because I couldn’t help myself. She told me how she got into it and what it was like. And she told me the story about how nervous she was when Julie Andrews came to watch her. If you don’t know, Julie Andrews is the original Maria from the movie but has since lost her ability to sing. Afterward she told Laura that she never thought she’d hear herself sing again – until she heard Laura sing. Ever since, I’ve wanted to hear her sing but…well, you know, musicals.

I found out that tonight she will be Elsa Schraeder in NBC’s live performance of The Sound of Music. So I can’t wait to hear her sing. The Daily Beast has an article called, "Laura Benanti is about to be One of Your Favorite Things."

These are some photos of Laura when I did her makeup for fashion week. I’ve meant to post them but I just never got around to it. When I saw her on TV I remembered, and since she’s going to be performing tonight I’m posting them just for her. And Francois, of course.

Look Good Feel Better: Helping Women With Cancer

When my cousin Linda was diagnosed with cancer, I could not believe it.Ever since I was a little girl, I looked up toher. She was the awesome cousin with a giant pink flowered bedroom and the best dolls. Later she was the beautiful, cool artist cousin who won awards for painting pictures of Jim Morrison and had all The Beatles records. Much later, she was the reason New York City didn’t seem so scary when I moved here. In NYC, Linda gave me a home, taking of care of me and always there when I needed someone. Even as a little girl, when I was afraid to let go of the side of the pool, she taught me how to swim. (Little did I know that this would someday define our relationship.) How could my strong and amazing cousin, someone who who anchored my life, have cancer? It wasn’t possible. I somehow convinced myself it wasn’t true – or if it were, it would turn out to be nothing. In the beginning it was easy. She looked as gorgeous as always and stayed cheerful and positive. As she went through treatment, however, it became increasingly hard to ignore. I saw her weaken, watched her skin get sallow and her gorgeous shiny hair fall out. Everyone had always talked about how beautiful Linda was, but she never seemed that aware of it or cared much about it either. Even without hair, Linda walked around so unselfconsciously that strangers would say, “You look amazing. I wish I could pull that off but I know I wouldn’t look like you.” She always took it as a compliment and just said thank you. They’d walk away thinking she was so fabulous, never knowing she had cancer.

Then one day she asked me to go with her to Look Good Feel Better at the American Cancer Society. Look Good Feel Better is a program that teaches makeup and hair for women undergoing cancer treatments. It took me off guard because I thought we had an unspoken agreement that she didn’t have cancer. I was so upset. I then realized she had been protecting me, as she always did. And that she, unlike myself, had accepted that she had cancer. I could see more clearly how she felt about it and that it affected how she saw herself. But I was scared to go. I felt that going to a cancer program made it too real - and I was scared to admit that she was sick and it was affecting her more than I let myself believe.

But when we got there, I saw that the program allowed her to focus just on herself and be with others who were struggling too. As little as she took her beauty seriously, Linda always loved having her makeup done. Look Good Feel Better wasn’t a cure, but it sure did make her happy. And although the program is for someone with cancer it isn’t focused on cancer - giving women time to feel once again like themselves and do something they would’ve enjoyed in any situation. Plus everyone gets a collection of skin care and makeup products to take home. You should have seen the joy on Linda's face when she got that bag!

I’ve worked with this program over the years, most recently doing makeup for their virtual workshops. These workshops are for women who’d like to learn more about Look Good Feel Better and/or cannot attend one in person.

Several weeks ago I worked with Guggenheim Productions on a Spanish language version hosted by Univison’s Lourdes Stephen of Sal y Pimenta and featured two beauty experts who have conducted LGFB workshops for many years – Hairstylist Petra Muriel and Skin Care Esthetician/Makeup Artist Lilly Rivera.

Petra joined LGFB in 2005. When I asked her what she loves most about LGFB, she said “When women come to us they often feel alone and self-conscious – their skin is parched, hair falling out, features faded, even their nails can turn black. I teach them how to care for and wear a wig, as well as how to create accessories that are comfortable and look great too. Wigs are hard for some–they find them too hot [to wear]. So I make a lot of scarves from t-shirts because they are so comfortable and soft on sensitive skin.” Petra said that while she loves sharing her expertise, the best part is helping women know they are not alone.

Petra invited Lilly, who has 35 years of beauty expertise, to join LGFB. Lilly is a character - dynamic, cheerful and funny, with a knack for making women feel relaxed and comfortable. I asked her about that and she said that although she’s never had cancer, she can still relate to a woman who feels insecure about how she looks - because growing up she struggled with these insecurities too. Lilly believes that it’s not about making a woman look like someone else, “it’s bringing back her sparkle, bringing her back to herself. It’s teaching women to see their true beauty.”

I spoke also to the women attending the workshop. Even those reluctant to speak English brought out photos to show me how they looked at the hardest points of their treatment. You could see in their eyes how excited they were to show me their “before” and “after." And I saw how they realized they did not have to look like cancer survivors. Instead they looked funky and edgy and cool – just as Linda did when she confidently sported her baldness.

Of course having amazing makeup and hair is wonderful and fun and helps people look as they once did. But more importantly, the program helps connect women and give them back their confidence. Instead of feeling like cancer survivors, they can go out in the world and simply feel fabulous.

As soon as it's on the LGFB site, I'll link it here so you can see Lourdes, Lilly and Petra in action. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, take a peek just to see the sheer joy and fun the women are having and how it demonstrates what it means to Look Good Feel Better and have this shared experience together.

If you are a cancer patient and have questions about the program or finding where you can attend a workshop, please feel free to contact me to help you get in touch with the right people. 

Note: To see a LGFB workshop in English, click here.

The Present & Future You

I’ve been talking to friends about self-perception. If you’ve read earlier things I've written, you know I had a baby. And it wasn’t yesterday. It was 2 years ago, and, at this point, I'm feeling like the "you just had a baby" excuse is no longer such a good one. My body has changed - but I’ve just been waiting to get back to “normal". In my neighborhood, there's a lot of women pushing strollers looking as if they never had a baby and I always thought that would also be me. But now I'm starting to wonder if I need to accept a new normal and make peace with it. Maybe. I am actually going to try a little more before giving up my old clothes. And that's positive. The less positive part is that self-acceptance is just not that easy.

When I told a friend this, she said, “You know, when I was skinny I didn’t even think about it. I thought it was normal and I just found other things wrong with me.” I know so many women – smart, beautiful, interesting women – who talk about what they wish they had or didn’t have and what they’d like to change about themselves. I even hear it from models and actresses and women everyone would describe as nothing less than beautiful.

In the best of worlds we just wouldn't care – but we all know there is a certain standard of what's considered beautiful (and not). Still, it doesn’t mean we should let it define who we are or make us unable to love what we have. I think that sometimes when we're so busy looking at what we don't like we don't even realize what we do.

I mentioned this to another friend and she made me laugh because she said, “You know what? Sometimes I look at pictures and think about how bad I look. And then I realize that in 10 years I’ll look back and think I looked awesome!” This, I think, is amazing - because as we go through life it all becomes relative. And if the future you is going to look back and see how great you look and are, why not let the present you see it too?

Not Dreaming of Olympic Gold

I've been watching the Olympic gymnastics competitions all week. A gymnast would waver slightly off-balance after doing a full-twisting backflip on beam and you'd hear the commentators say something like, “Ah! Oh, that is going to cost her." If it was worse you might hear something like "this is catastrophic."

So when the reigning world champion didn't make it into the final all-around competition because her “tiniest mistakes added up” and she came in behind two of her teammates, the look on her face broke my heart.

Mistakes in gymnastics are so devastating at this level - you can work your entire life to that moment and if you’re not perfect, your Olympic dream can be gone in one misstep.

I was a gymnast for many years. Every year before a big competition, I'd be in tears because I’d think about how I worked so hard all these years and tomorrow I could fall and have to wait another year to have the opportunity to try again. By then you could have gotten injured, grown too much or any of the many things that can happen in between.I was in acro-gymnastics, which is much more forgiving than artistic gymnastics. You can make mistakes and it doesn’t guarantee a loss. And you can do the sport much longer than peaking at 16. But even then (although maybe I just wasn’t cut out for it because I don’t think everyone is crying before every big meet) there is just so much on the line in such a small space of time that equals years and years of dedication and very hard work. That, of course, is not unique to gymnastics and I don't think it's a bad thing. But I don’t think anyone should feel all is lost if they step out of bounds with the edge of their heel. Or that success is defined so narrowly (and subjectively) that anything less than perfect makes you a loser. Sometimes accepting our imperfections is a thing of beauty – life is, as they say, much of the time about the journey and not the destination.

Dreams are meant to be chased, whether we achieve them or not. I love gymnastics and there is a lot to be said for the discipline, toughness and dedication it instills. But to me, the negative outweighs the positive here when it shapes how a girl comes to define herself. I'm sure that's not true for everyone – I am sure some may only take away the good with them. But I think many do not.

That’s why I hope my daughter doesn't dream of one day making the Olympic gymnastics team. I realize it's not the worst thing that could happen. I want her to grow up chasing her dreams too, but I don't want it to ever be "catastrophic" if she steps on the line.

Looking Like an Idol

So it’s down to the finale. Maybe by the time you read this it will be over but it’s not about the winner, is it? It’s about who’s in it. I watched American Idol last night (of course) and because there were only two women featured, I think I can do this (as opposed to my last American Idol post when there were too many people to keep track of). Jennifer Lopez

I am pretty sure Jennifer Lopez’s makeup artist was off for the night. This was not the same makeup artist. I don’t like to be hypercritical of other artists’ work because I know how hard it can be, how much lightning can affect makeup, how the person wearing it affects the makeup, how brutal HD can be, and so on. And when you’re famous, everyone is too often looking at you and criticizing you, which is awful. Plus I love Jennifer Lopez. But since her makeup is usually flawless I have to say that it just didn't meet its usual high standard.

JLo almost always wears concealer under and around her eye area that brightens and draws attention to her eyes. This time it was too much - either too light or too thick and you could see the line between where her concealer started and stopped. It looked like she had a two-toned mask on, her nose looked uneven and she was shiny. Of course she is still gorgeous, but I’m talking about the makeup and what we can learn from it.

Don’t

Unless you’re going for a specific look that requires it, don’t let makeup lines show on your face. That always says that you’re wearing makeup, not just looking glow-y and smooth. Make sure that everything is blended, blended, blended.

Do

If you are on camera – particularly if you have a tan or darker skin tone - wear powder. Even if your skin is not oily, the flash or bright lighting can make your skin look shiny.

Jessica Sanchez

Jessica Sanchez looked good, especially during the first song. Everything was just right – the dress was glamorous without looking too sexy for her age, the hair and makeup was soft and matched the dress. Throughout the season, Jessica’s makeup sometimes looked a little drag queeny. Part of it is that she already has naturally strong brows so when you add makeup it can quickly look like too much. But last night her eye shadow was soft with a touch of shimmer, she had lots of lashes, soft cheeks and lips with a little glossy light color. And the lips weren’t too defined so it looked good without being distracting.

However, by the 3^rd song Jessica had too much blush on. This is what I’m talking about – let me be clear that she does not/did not look like a drag queen - but you venture into drag queen territory when you wear too much makeup all over.

Don’t

Wear too much too much on all features. If you want to wear more makeup, concentrate on one feature, i.e., smoky eyes with lighter lips, dark lips with more nude eyes. This ensures you look sexy and glam without it being too much.

Do

Try out a pinky nude lip! For the first song she wore a pinky brown lipstick with a beige/nude gloss on top. Not everyone can wear a completely matte-nude shade like you see on models in a magazine – but most people look good with the shade Jessica wore.

Here’s how:

1. Find a pink-brown or pink lip pencil to line and fill in lips for a matte base (the color will stay on longer with a matte base).
2. Follow with a pinkish brown or brownish pink lipstick.
3. Apply a nude lip gloss on the inner part of lips (as opposed all on lips to the lip line) because the gloss will move out to the edges as you wear it.

And on a final note - of course, I do love my Phillip Philips, who always looks the same, which is boyishly gorgeous. He is kind of good-looking but if you really look at him it’s more of his expression, his eyes and that smile that make him good-looking. Which, after all, is the essence of beauty. After his first song I really thought he would lose. But when he pulled out that last song, I think he won. Only time will tell. And let’s see if JLo’s makeup artist is on the job tonight.

Happy Christmas, Lucy!

I’m not very festive. I am not really a party-goer. I don’t drink. I’ve never even had my own Christmas tree. (Man, I am more un-festive than I even realized.) But I do like seeing the beautiful holiday festivities. I like all that sparkles and twinkles and shines. I like seeing people’s red-cheeks in the cold as they rush around 5^th Avenue, looking in department store windows and shopping for gifts. I love the newness and excitement that children see in every story, song and everything that is Christmas. Last weekend we went to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. I maybe have seen it once before, when I first moved to NYC and walked around the city like a tourist. It was so crowded, with people spilling out of the sidewalks and police pushing them back off the street. It was cold. But when we turned the corner and there was the tree, it was magnificent.

Sometimes, when things don’t feel so shiny and bright, you may have to look for those moments when you realize how amazing it is to be alive. That’s how that moment was for me, one that reminded me of being a child feeling the magic of Christmas. So here's to many more to come, for me and for you. Happy Holidays!

This is my daughter Lucy, celebrating her second Christmas. (The first Christmas she can remember, that is.) Photo by Chris Lee.